The Elephant and The Rider

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The elephant and the rider metaphor is cited throughout many books, in particular, Jonathon Haidt, a widely cited New York University psychologist, observed the notion that intuitions come first and rationalization second. This led to the metaphor described in his work, where the elephant represents the more automatic responses, the rider represents the more consciously chosen responses. Imagine if you will that the elephant, a large, powerful beast is the emotional, and more unconscious reactionary mind who chooses the snacks we really know we shouldn't have. The rider is the rational part, the logical side that knows the snacks are not going to help us in the long run. The rider has the big goals and aspirations that the elephant just seems to trample on sometimes. Numerous other authors support this theory and have written extensively including in Daniel Kahneman's Thinking, Fast and Slow and Sarah Knight, Sasha O'Hara book entitled, Calm the F*ck Down, How To Control What You Can And Accept What You Can't So You Can Stop Freaking Out And Get On With Your Life. Buddhist use the monkey mind analogy, where the monkey is a rather uncontrollable chimp. Restless, whimsical, uncontrollable, indecisive and distracted. Then there is our rational mind, logical, planning, strategizing and knowledgeable. Meditation being a tool used to tame the monkey mind, to reduce our reactive nature.

The metaphor in a climbing world example would be for example when you are climbing a tall route and start getting that sense of exposure - all that space behind you making you very aware that you are high off the ground. The elephant wants to get down. The elephant may begin to violently shake the legs, over grip the hand holds. The elephant starts looking down and stalling about moving up. The rider is usually off line. But may come online and begin to calculate how far out from the last bolt you are and what kind of a fall you might be in for. The rider may begin to calculate the odds of getting to the next clip, assess what moves will be required, whether the clipping stance is adequate for the amount of pump you feel. 

In this example, what drives both the elephant and the rider is the fear of harm, or more accurately, the desire to avoid harm. In order to get the elephant to move toward the next clip has to be a motivation that is greater than the motivation to avoid the fall.

“Sparks come from emotion, not information.”
Dan Heath, author of Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard

What the source of that motivation is has to be emotional in nature, not rational. 

Over the course of four years of sport climbing all over North America and Europe, I had the above experience every climbing day. I hated falling. Not the emotion behind the word - HATE. It was not the fear of harm I worried about. It was the fear of failing, of proving I wasn't up the idea of who I wanted to be. Falling proved me to be "not good enough." It was a strong and powerful emotion every time I was up against the day to try to send. I concocted amazing strategies to avoid confronting the self doubt. 

CHANGE only happened when I took some careful steps.
First, I was not aware that what was holding me back was self doubt. I thought I really was afraid of the falls. But after taking multiple smaller falls, building up the falls and making them more surprising, Through journalling, and trying many different things to get over the fear, I eventually realized, the fall wasn't the problem. Failing was the problem.  
Second, after recognizing the truth of the problem,  I created an environment that allowed me to verbally confront my self doubt. I took the pressure off having to send. I made sure that I had routine in my training so when I went to a project, I would be operating from routine and this routine eased the strain of 'today is the day.' I verbally chatted about my future plans to come back to the route and try again on another day. Acknowledgement out loud to others was critical to convincing myself that I did not have to do it today.
Third, I paid attention to what I could learn from the experience. This was the emotional motivator that ultimately won over the elephant. I love learning. I love depth in understanding. The more I focused on understanding HOW to do something, WHAT I am learning in the process, the more I am willing to fail. 

This week, try the following exercise --  
Take some time to really remember one of those moments when the elephant seems to be in charge. If you are in the Maritimes these days, it doesn't have to be related to climbing, it might be related to lockdown number 3 and the elephant keeping you in pjs and binging Netflix. After all, when are we ever going to have the gyms open again.
As you remember this moment where the elephant seemed to take charge, consider what you are avoiding. Netflix may seem like we are going toward something, however, it is usually also the avoidance of something else. Take some time to consider what that thing, or things, is/are. 
Write down the answer to the following... 
      1.  By doing this activity, I am avoiding...   try to name at least two to three things. 
      2. Now ask, what do I get out of avoiding these things is... 
Consider, what do you get out of avoiding the thing you are avoiding, or things you are avoiding?
If I consider the example of avoid failing, I get a sense of not being a loser. Of at least for that moment the possibility of doing something hard, rather than not being able to do something hard. 
     3. And what does that mean to me? What is it about that possibility of being able to do something that is better than the alternative - knowing I can't?
Knowing I can't validates the deep seated fear that I am not good enough. Yikes...

What does it show you?

Now for the part to not skip.... 
      4. What can you do to motivate you to do the hard work instead? What can you do to motivate you into positive action? What is the antedote?
      5. What do you value above all else that can motivate you to do what you fear most?
For me the answer was to learn. I then created strategies that promoted learning with every try, even the try where I finally was able to do the route. I also supported myself to ease the more anxious side of me. Ritual or routine eases the mind into a state of more ease, making it easier to stay focused. I focused on staying connected to the people around me in a positive way. And verbally stating my intentions gave me a sense of control over the situation, again both adding to the ease going in. 

Let me know what you think might work for you and give it a try. I am excited to hear from you. climbyoubest@gmail.com