And there were things for me.
I choose the warm ups and we went around the other side of the boulder for the routes and I noticed the damp ground and thought with frustration, "dang, we should have brought a tarp." Then looking at the steep overhanging lines, I noticed the wetness of the holds, and the closeness of the edge of the pond to spotting the top out. But trying to be supportive, I just got ready to climb. Those first holds were pretty wet, and the steepness was pretty challenging. After a few tries, I gave up on the start holds, feeling like all the desire zapped out of me after the first moves. I watched as there was some hesitancy in the others on the top out moves. "Hmmm, that's where I will be pumped and scared of falling," I thought. My frown probably deepened. It was then that the snakes sunning themselves on the trees leaning over the pond behind us were noticed. Deep breaths... not a fan of snakes. These were not poisonous to my knowledge and seemed to be sunning themselves contentedly, but still, not a fan.
Still I tried to engage in support for others and even trying to assure them that I was game to keep trying, I discussed the need for me to bring more grrr through the body, not just the upper arms on the route. Every few moments distracted by whether these snakes were moving closer or keeping their distance.
Then more people arrived, more crash pads covered the ground, more conversation, more climbers vying for turns on the same routes. And of course admiration for the snakes and more snake conversation. Sigh....
I didn't send. Not even sure I could say I enjoyed the day. The truth is, I did not take responsibility for my day. I mean, I did to some degree. I showed up, I climbed and supported others. But I didn't look at what I wanted to climb, I didn't build excitement about the possibilities for climbing that day. I just tried to climb and be supportive of others. But others can't get excited for you if you are not excited yourself.
You get back what you give. We are the creators of our experience.
My day was meh because I approached it WITHOUT excitement and a sense of engagement and possibility. I approached climbing that day like it was just something I was going to do, like I might approach doing the dishes, rather than how I would prepare a meal for friends and family. Sure my focus was on the other people I was with, but that only put a sense of pressure on them to 'make my day.'
Lesson learned - Own it, take responsibility for your experience.