As I coached the wee ones, I noticed the lack of focus and more dismissive or downright rejection of the activity they were supposed to be doing. I called them all back in to chat with me. I asked them to close their eyes and to tell me using the fingers on their hands, how hard they were trying on the warm up routes. Then on the routes that they could do first or second try. Next the routes that they would probably not do in the first five tries. And finally, the routes that they would spend multiple sessions trying. Consistently, the effort on a scale of 1 to ten, where one was not trying very hard to ten, try super duper hard, they showed up with the hardest effort on things they could first or second, maybe third try.
Consider this... when they knew they would have to work hard to complete it, they tried LESS hard. In other words, they gave up!
My climbers are not alone. I recognized my own stepping back from the edge of late. Think of the people who dream of writing that book and yet never do.
WOW. We are the creators of our reality.
The irony of trying less when you need to try harder is quite laughable really. So why? Why try less when you need to try more?
Because of that little voice in the back of your head that does not want to lose, to fail, to be embarrassed or feel vulnerable; small. If I don't try for the route, then I don't have to face that I am not strong enough, good enough to climb that level. If I don't try for the job, I don't have to face the rejection. If I don't write the book, I can still have the dream without the pain of losing the dream.
But what if we reframe this failure as just one step closer? A baby must try walking multiple times, falling down many many times before successfully walking. If you are a human who walks, YOU DID TOO! You have already overcome so many falls and you did not tell yourself as a baby that you couldn't, you didn't shy away so no one would see you fall. You just kept trying without a story about what it meant to fail.
What would your life look like if you could not hear 'I the can't', the shame or the fear?