I did get to reschedule on a different route arriving three hours earlier. But more importantly, I have had time today to just sit and type. Just sit and ponder this comment made in a corridor. I spend a great deal of energy trying to control my world. I try to:
What happens when I resist the reality that I experience? I feel frustrated, anxious or angry, annoyed. Basically fairly despondent when it becomes too much. What if I tried on this idea that everything will work out, whatever happens. I'll get to my destination, not at the time I wanted, but eventually. Even if I don't, perhaps I will still be able to be positive if I stay open to whatever outcome arises. I sure hope the gentleman in the corridor is right. "It will all be okay, whatever happens."
I would add, I truly believe that this will only be true if I choose to look for what is okay, whatever happens. Brene Brown describes beautifully in her book, The Atlas of the Heart, it is this sense of belonging that is a fundamental part of our hierarchy of needs. She says, "Love and belonging are irreducible needs for all people. In the absence of these experiences, there is always suffering."
Interestingly, note that self-esteem is the level AFTER love and belonging. In other words, our ability to feel esteem comes after we sense we belong or are receiving love. Add to this recognition the idea that problem solving and a lack of prejudice or self-actualization comes AFTER we feel love and esteem. But how do we know that what we are experiencing is true belonging or love? If are not self-actualized, our ability to accurately perceive love and belonging is shadowed. This leads to giving our personal power to someone else in exchange for a sense of belonging and love, respect. With this accomplished we move to a sense of esteem, but it is self-esteem built on the foundation of someone else's love. I would suggest Maslow's pyramid should really have a caveat... it must be considered through the lens of self and we. The WE being HUMANITY. Am I physically safe? Are WE physically safe? What are the actions that ensure we are all safe physically and emotionally. Do I belong to myself and do I allow others to belong? With a new year and the rituals which come with it, I found myself working away on a puzzle while Netflix documentaries played in the background. The first was about The Family, a fellowship of people who spread the word and love of Jesus. Interestingly, they work to spread this word through political opportunities, like the prayer breakfast where heads of states from around the world gather. The focus is love for Jesus. The concern is the intertwining of church and state. The goal really seeming to be power. The next series was about a spiritual leader, philosopher, named Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, later named Osho. His following led to the creation and eventual destruction of a entire town in Oregon. Those close to the leader fled the country with multiple warrants for arrest levied against them. The crimes included attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, and immigration fraud. The goal of this community was to be powerful enough to run the county in which they lived. They were to some degree successful, having their own police force. In other words... power on a political, societal level.
Giving up our own belief, desire or needs even to belong is giving up freedom to chose. The freedom to choose is the only true freedom we have. In this New Year, I challenge you to consider your choices and the seed of your action. If I choose healthy food choices, what drives that choice? Is it a desire to live a long and fulfilling life so I can continue to serve others? Or is it the social media posts showing me the body I should have? If I choose to have another cup of coffee, is it to satiate a desire for caffeine or is the desire for wakefulness so I can complete this post. 😉
You may need to ask the question in many ways. What am I getting out of this choice? What will I get from this decision? What is driving me? Any time a should or a shouldn't crops up in your thinking, perhaps examine the inclination toward the choice you are making. It is a practice. It never ends. But you may over time, start to feel more free. |
Heatherdr
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