As each athlete returned to isolation, their experiences was very much written on their faces. There were some faces marred in suffering and some with smiles. Some were very intense and others more relaxed. The coach in me wanted to support those feeling the suffering. I wanted to say, "breath in confidence, exhale doubt. Focus on the next route, forget the last one - let it go." 

In the world of yoga, these patterns of mind are called samskaras. The more we repeat a pattern of thinking, the stronger it gets. The more we contemplate self-doubt or a need to defend ourselves, the more we see a need to defend. The work then is to reframe, change the story. Where one may feel unsuccessful or they should have done better, one must reframe the narrative to focus on where they were successful or how there is a process of elimination or failure which informs success and thus this experience is necessary to becoming more successful.  In a nutshell, look to the process for answers, not the outcome. 

This works in social situations as well. A number of years ago, I was chastised by a family member. Some unkind things were said and I shut myself away from the person. However, that was only a temporary option because a large family gathering was planned. I considered how was I going to show up to this first encounter after these unkind words and difference of opinion. I did not feel I deserved the comments, and that my opinion mattered, but words from Wayne Dwyer came into my consciousness - be happy, not right.

To approach this person with the need to be right, validated in some way, I would not be happy. It would probably result in more conflict. I choose to consider our first encounter as an opportunity for positivity, happiness, and connection. I made it my mission to make people smile and engage in laughter. I meandered the family clan taking selfies with people and a focus on celebrating each of them.

I ended up having a pretty good time. I ended up with more connection and some great pics. The issue between this family member and myself was over, never spoke of again. Some may think I should have fought back, but one thing I have learned is the need to be right leads to war. Whether that is war within myself or with someone else. Focusing on connection leads to a truce at the very least. 

This cycle can be continual and we are constantly influenced by the external environment. The work in our lives is to learn how to be the master of our emotions - our attitude. By being able to truly influence the attitude we bring to each situation is what brings us more joy, more happiness. 

Last month I had the opportunity to go to Joe's Valley. I have wanted to go there for years. And the time had come. But I hesitated. The thoughts of not being in great climbing shape, the intimidation of how I would be perceived were causing me to think twice about whether it would a good idea to go. These critical thoughts were trying to keep me, or at least my self perception safe from being challenged. 

There are so many pieces are enfolded in this experience. There are the fears how we will be perceived, whether we will become injured, whether we will be successful, can we afford the expense. All of these pieces are rooted in fear and our actions could very be rooted in a need to self protect. 

Consider... who do I want to be in this world? What do I want to bring to others and to each experience?
We live in a world which constantly tells us to measure what we are getting - to judge where we fit and what we need to be happy. How would your experience be different if you focused on what you give to life? To do this successful one must assume a few important things:

• I belong here.
• I am loved.
• I am enough.
• I choose what I love.

I want to be a person who brings light and support to those around me. To myself. My choices, my thoughts about my experience then must include seeing the light in all things around me.