Community is a word which is continually coming up for me these days. I had two conversations recently where the desire to build community was being expressed. I related strongly to the idea because I too have recognized my own desire to feel like I belong to a community. I have changed, my job has changed, my way of being in the world has changed. All these changes have removed me from interactions with many people I used to see weekly, if not daily. Without regular interactions, I have begun to feel separate, a lack of belonging to a community. Of course, the job change has opened me up to a new community of people and new people I interact with regularly, though those interactions are virtual for the most part. 

The word community dates back to latin roots in the word commnitas which is derived from communis, meaning shared by all. Clearly my need, and the need of many others, to be first in line is contradictory to the idea of sharing. The first three letters of the word, com, signifies together or with. Munis is linked to the idea of service to others. I remember when Hurricane Juan swept though Nova Scotia leaving many without power, including myself, for more than a week. Neighbours where outside helping neighbours with the clean up of down trees and debris removal. The same community engagement was just witnessed in Texas with the flooding and enormous loss of life. 

 How do we get back to a world where we feel a shared vision with others?

I think it begins with two key parts; belonging to myself, knowing myself and honouring myself, and the second part is honouring others. Belonging to myself is not going to protect me from the next global pandemic or flood, or tsunami. It will allow me to believe that I am strong enough to navigate the storm, whatever the storm maybe. 

In 2007 or 2008, I came across one of Wayne Dyer's many works where he said, "be happy, not right." These words are written on a piece of paper stuck to my fridge all these years later. 

The idea is that I can release a lot of my personal suffering by giving up the need to be right and choosing to be in connection with someone else. Choosing to listen to their ideas, to share in their success, support their ideals can bring a happiness that being right cannot bring. As a coach, I witnessed this all the time. The athletes in it for the joy of the sport and the team were far happier than the athletes in it for the wins and usually more successful. 

In my own experience, I am looking for the old school climbers who prefer not doing dynos and yet still like to challenge themselves to improve while calculating the potential risk of injury before making the effort. :)

Just last week, I had a goal to capture some video for the work I am producing. I maybe had a vague goal of getting footage, but not a specific outline of the video I wanted and the shots I needed. The result was that I started wasting other people's time while I considered what I should film and what I wanted my actors to do. We eventually captured some footage I believe will be useful, but even as we were filming I was a little disappointed with myself that I had not shown up in as prepared a position as I could have. I am grateful to those who stayed and worked with me. 

Ironically, or perhaps I should say more naturally, I have spent the past month mentally complaining about others not really showing up either on time, knowing the text, or with an idea. And it has been driving my suffering. The key element driving my suffering is one additional element not included in this idea of showing up. Curiosity is essential because it also means letting go of one right way for things to be and allowing for others to contribute, to improve, and for one's own growth. 
Read on for a more detailed description of these 4 key elements.

RIGHT TIME
Not everything should be done at the moment we are inspired to do it. Sometimes it is better to wait and sometimes we wait until it is too late. There is a time when the effort or action matters. Being able to discern the right time to contribute is critical to making the effort or action more powerful.
KNOW THE TEXT
Preparation for action is critical. When being run down by a bear, it is good preparation to have a bear bell, to know the area, to be able to know what to do when you encounter a bear. When it is time to send your project, it is great if you know how to best warm up for the send, how to best eat and hydrate in the 24 hour before the big push. This is preparation - knowing the text.
HAVE AN IDEA
Having an idea relates to contributing your passion, your unique light, your spin in a way that not only supports the goal and getting the job done, but that makes the outcome even more expansive and powerful. The idea is adding your unique talent and skills to the project. 
WHAT ELSE IS POSSIBLE?
Let me tell you a little story...it was a cold October morning and Nick was trying to send his project in Rifle, Co. He was not having much luck. Given the less than ideal conditions, the only other folks in the canyon were Tommy Caldwell and his dad, Mike. They brought their little propane heater and, while rubber on the shoes warmed, Nick and Tommy discussed the section of the route where Nick was a low percentage of success. Tommy offered his sequence for the section. Nick went up and tried it, realizing it may actually give him a little higher percentage of success. Armed with a new sequence and semi warm shoes, Nick was going to give it one more real try and then call it a day. He started up the route and fell in the section with the new sequence Tommy had given him. His indicated he would just complete the route and come back another day. Tommy's dad told him to come down, and rest fifteen minutes, then give it another try. After what seemed a really long fifteen minutes, Nick started up again. This time he did not come down until he had clipped the anchor and had a new 5.14b send under his belt. The moral of the story... the ability to be curious about whether someone else's idea might work gave Nick success that day. So many of us get locked into our own way being the right and only way or idea. 

According to Miriam Webster's online dictionary, the word fair is defined as impartial or without discrimination. The problem with this definition is that it requires a definition of discrimination and impartiality because both words are influenced by the perspective of the person considering the application. For example, it may seem that discrimination has occurred to a particular person in a particular situation based on the impact it has on the person in question. However, one could also consider the situation through the lens of intentionality. If the results were the same and it is confirmed that there was no intention to cause harm to the person in question, rather to ensure fairness to others, then one may believe there was no discrimination. 

So how can we possibly know if a situation is fair if the definition is in the perspective?
Perhaps it doesn't really matter.
Perhaps it is more important to consider the future rather than ruminate on defining the past. After all, we cannot change the past decisions, we can only impact the future. 

A little challenge for you today... notice a situation where you believe it to be unfair. While noting your perspective, consider the root of what is unfair about the situation. Consider the perspective of the impact on others in the situation. Consider what the opposite outcome or the 'fair' outcome would mean for the other and ask yourself the same questions again. 

Then... what steps will you take now?

Enjoy this recent article published by Climbing Business Journal. 
Showing Up as an Imposter: 5 Tips from a Seasoned Instructor