In the wee hours of this morning I strained to hear the rain. It has been months of minimal rain and an extreme drought. The leaves rippled on the wind, the moisture could be felt on the breeze, but no sound of rain. The minutes ticked by and I waited, hoping, wanting the rain to fall. Frustration built and agitated my tension, scaring away any inkling of sleep.  

In the Yoga world, this suffering is the result of the kleshas or afflictions. the kleshas consist of five elements; desire for something, resistance to something, sense of "I am", attachment, and fear of death. Resistance to a drought and desire for rain were keeping my mind active in the early morning. 

Interestingly, we do not always notice these how these afflictions are animating in our experience of the world. The goal of Yoga, meditation, breath work, and numerous other mind-body-breath connecting practices is to bring our attention to the animation and then allow us to release the desire for control. 

I found myself wanting different outcomes from conversations I have had in the past few weeks, resisting what someone said, or desiring them to tell me something. Noticing that I am personalizing their thoughts as an attack on my values and thoughts, or my "I amness". Harder to release these perceived attacks because they threaten ones very identity or sense of being respected and valued. 

I think in our current political climate this "I amness" is being challenged continuously. But how does one release ones sense of self and worthiness? Perhaps one doesn't. Perhaps it is about being curious about the value in the other person's perspective. 

Life is so very full of opportunities for self examination. I recently took my ego to archery. After an afternoon of writing about teaching tips, I was very frustrated by the approach this instructor took. The instruction was limited to here's where you stand, here's the signal to shoot. Here's the signal to walk down and look at your shots. Then wait your turn. I was frustrated there wasn't more instruction on how to hold the bow, how to aim. In fact the feedback I received had my shot go wide by two feet. 

I gleefully expostulated to  my neighbour the horrible approach to instruction the next day, firmly establishing the idea that is wasn't my fault I did not do well. It was the poor quality of the instruction. 
But, what if I had been curious? What if I had considered this Trial and Error approach as a positive engagement approach of discovery, making each good shot have more value because it was completely my own accomplishment?

What if I looked for the wins, not just the criticism? Criticism leads to resistance and that roar of the ego about how I am right and the other is wrong. If I had looked for where this approach was right, would I suffer less?

Try it. Notice a situation that frustrates you or causes you to feel small. Or even notice a desire for something that perhaps you know you shouldn't have. The solution is to get curious about what you are experiencing, where you are physically sensing the desire or the suffering. Get curious about which of the afflictions is in play. And then look for the wins, the learning, or the opportunity. 

​Let me know how it goes. 

Humans by nature are designed to survive. One's definition of survival is as unique as each person's human performance. But survival means survival of one's own life, not the life of a stranger. Survival can mean having food and shelter to some and it can mean having more money and a better home and car to another. But the very nature of this attitude of survival is egocentric.  

For folks who feel a sense of personal safety that comes from having the things one needs to survive, meaning shelter, food, water, and a non threatening environment, a person can than think of others. Certainly for me, my son's experience became as important if not more important than my own experience when he was young. I made sacrifices so he could thrive.

The difference between surviving and thriving is this...

• Surviving - overcoming hardship and challenges to exist.
• Thriving - prospering and flourishing

In my lifetime I have managed to live a life which has meant been about thriving. I have always had work or found work when I wanted it. I have always had health. I have always had support from government agencies if needed, and even when I did not. 
My son has always therefore had a life that revolved around thriving, not survival. Most of us living in North America can claim the same... access to health care, access to food, water, and work.

The only global threat to our physical safety came from a virus which led to protections from our government and pharmaceutical companies. We have lived, especially in Canada, in a fairly safe environment. There have been crimes committed by people who perhaps feel desperate and may be motivated by a desire for something they feel they are lacking. But those threats have also not been so wide spread that we need to fear for our lives on a regular basis. Not like people in war torn countries where one's life can change in an instant and those instances are happening with some regularity. 

Because of our comfort, our lives of thriving, it can be very easy to forget how lucky we are. It is easy to forget to be grateful. It is easy to become complacent. In our complacency we can ignore the signs that perhaps we should be paying closer attention to the things that support our ability to thrive. When a person moves from thriving to surviving, the lens of morality can shift. If someone is pointing a gun at you, perhaps your own willingness to mortally wound someone else becomes a viable choice. 

Is it possible in this world we are living in now in North America, that the lens had changed, our sense of personal safety has changed and we are each experiencing more personal threats to our survival? In turn, our own morality is shifting. I have certainly had immoral thoughts in the past year that I am chagrined to admit to.

In turn, is that changing how we treat each other? After all, we all faced Covid. We all faced the real personal threat of a life threatening virus. Millions did not make it. There was a recognition for all of us, whether we lost someone we love or not, that we are not immortal. We will eventually die. Nothing can save us from that outcome. Our ability to thrive was threatened. Many lost income. Many lost jobs. Many lost their home. The national debt has ballooned. Our ability to thrive has been compromised. Are we confusing surviving with thriving? How is that impacting our morality?

I don't have the answer. But I hope you consider my questions. The way we think and feel, even subconsciously, vibrates out into our communities and influences how others think and feel.

Can we all consider gratitude as a practice? Can we all consider having the generosity of spirit and bravery to help someone who is truly threatened?  Can we choose to be like the gentleman I met at the grocery store instead of fearful and egocentric? Can we choose peace even when we feel threatened?