Community: Spirit of Sharing

Community is a word which is continually coming up for me these days. I had two conversations recently where the desire to build community was being expressed. I related strongly to the idea because I too have recognized my own desire to feel like I belong to a community. I have changed, my job has changed, my way of being in the world has changed. All these changes have removed me from interactions with many people I used to see weekly, if not daily. Without regular interactions, I have begun to feel separate, a lack of belonging to a community. Of course, the job change has opened me up to a new community of people and new people I interact with regularly, though those interactions are virtual for the most part. 

Photo by Kimson Doan on Unsplash

The word community dates back to latin roots in the word commnitas which is derived from communis, meaning shared by all. Clearly my need, and the need of many others, to be first in line is contradictory to the idea of sharing. The first three letters of the word, com, signifies together or with. Munis is linked to the idea of service to others. I remember when Hurricane Juan swept though Nova Scotia leaving many without power, including myself, for more than a week. Neighbours where outside helping neighbours with the clean up of down trees and debris removal. The same community engagement was just witnessed in Texas with the flooding and enormous loss of life. 

Reflection on why so many feel like they do not belong to a community reminded me of a book I read a while back entitled, Humankind, by Rutger Bregman, Erica Moore, and Elizabeth Manton. The authors strive to prove by using historical examples like the the true story of boys shipwrecked on an island and the aftermath of the Blitz, that human kindness, trust, and cooperation win out over the more selfish nature.  Perhaps this altruism is more primed to come to light in the aftermath of darkness. Perhaps folks do not feel a part of community now because there has not been the threat of loss of the community. Or perhaps the community has just changed so much, become so diversified, that it is hard to feel connected to such an unfocused shared vision.

 How do we get back to a world where we feel a shared vision with others?

I think it begins with two key parts; belonging to myself, knowing myself and honouring myself, and the second part is honouring others. Belonging to myself is not going to protect me from the next global pandemic or flood, or tsunami. It will allow me to believe that I am strong enough to navigate the storm, whatever the storm maybe. 

In 2007 or 2008, I came across one of Wayne Dyer's many works where he said, "be happy, not right." These words are written on a piece of paper stuck to my fridge all these years later. 

The idea is that I can release a lot of my personal suffering by giving up the need to be right and choosing to be in connection with someone else. Choosing to listen to their ideas, to share in their success, support their ideals can bring a happiness that being right cannot bring. As a coach, I witnessed this all the time. The athletes in it for the joy of the sport and the team were far happier than the athletes in it for the wins and usually more successful. 

In my own experience, I am looking for the old school climbers who prefer not doing dynos and yet still like to challenge themselves to improve while calculating the potential risk of injury before making the effort. :)