How do you Inspire

During a stay at the Himalayan Institute in Honesdale, PA, gathered with other women sharing our aspirations, it occurred to me that the challenge I was facing was a "what's next" question. With my body changing and no longer as reliable and familiar, my work had changed, and my family connections had changed. I was not yet settled with all of these changes and I did not know what was coming next. 

I have known and worked in the world of purpose for my entire life. I teach, I instruct, I coach, I mentor and I write about improvement. All forms of expression allowing me to support others as they reach for a new prospect or potential. It has filled me with joy and fulfillment. I was a flight attendant and during my short stint in that career, I challenged my colleagues to rest enough and eat as healthily as possible while in the air and on the layovers. 
I taught canoeing, skating, climbing, yoga. I worked in outdoor recreation, teaching camp games, no trace skills for the outdoors. I would enter into competitions and end up spending my time coaching others rather than focusing on my own performance. I knew from a young age I wanted to teach. 

I relied heavily on my body to teach others how to be in and capitalize on the capacity or potential capacity of their own body. Now I no longer knew my own body. I no longer trusted it to do what I wanted, to be able to get stronger or better. Age and injury had taken a high toll. So what was next if I couldn't rely on my body? And what was the point of sticking around this place we call earth if I could not do the things that I had reaped so much joy and fulfillment from in the past?

In the previous post, I challenged you gentle reader, to write about the accomplishments in your life which have given you meaning. The things that when death comes, you will be remembered for, or which you wish to be remembered for. If you have completed this activity, go back through the text and write the statement in the form of a declaration. In my case, my statement would sound like: I challenge and coach, designing the path for others to shine.
When I am in the best expression of this mission, I am working as if we are both looking toward overcoming the obstacles. At my worst, I am fighting with someone to try. Rather than looking in the same direction, it feels I am looking forward toward their potential best and they have turned their back on that and are looking at me. They have no interest or faith in the vision I see.

Isn't it interesting that ​when confronting my own challenges, I am my own worst coachee.
I turn my back to potential and possibility and argue that it just isn't possible or fair.

Many years ago I listened to Eve Ensler give a talk and the summary statement was, "when we give away what we long for the most, we heal a part of ourselves." When I give away that combined challenge and support, I am giving away what I long for the most - a partner in the chaos. 
Here's today's challenge...
Look at your declaration, consider when you are shining and being your best. Now when is it the opposite for you? When is it just not working? Where are you the most resistant to what you love to give to others?

Uncover Your Achilles Heel
To help you uncover this little secret, set up to record a video in the camera app on your phone. Look at the camera and record while you lament the moments of the past where you have resisted life, things felt impossibly hard. Talk it out with yourself. Let it all just flow. No need to make a coherent argument or have a list of bullet points, there is not even a need to finish a sentence. Consider aloud a moment where you struggle(d) to shine.

As you describe this moment and how you are thinking and feeling, acting, notice what your alter ego wants to say to you. There is a teacher within you who knows the walls you are putting up and why. They get the fears, deep seated belief you hold that holds you in handcuffs. Or worse, the handcuffs are off and you are in self destruct mode.
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I can easily recall my feelings in that gathering of women where I sounded like a wounded animal whimpering about my losses and defeats, fears and envies. And one voice said, "you just haven't found the new expression of that purpose yet." That statement cut through my self pity and spurred me forward with curiosity.
What is that new expression of this way I serve?
I am still looking, but now I have my face turned toward possibility instead of my back to it.