Life is an Adventure or Suffering

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 I made the effort to get to bed by 8 pm given my 2 AM wake up for the travel day. Arrived at the airport, made it through the hurry and then wait stream of security. As the boarding process began, with it came the announcements about bags. I pondered aloud the inevitability of bags needing to be check and a delay in leaving the gate with a fellow passenger. 
"I wonder if more folks would check their bags if it were less expensive." I asked.
"Maybe." came the response with a nod. 
Eventually I was spied and my bag was checked along with all the others. I was disappointed. But as a chronic zone 5 traveller, not surprised. "I am always afraid of not getting my bag at the other end, or the delay causing me to miss my flight and then not being able to get a good flight switch because I have a checked bag." I lamented.
My corridor line chum said, "it will all be okay, whatever happens."

Arrival in Toronto revealed my flight was indeed cancelled due to a mechanical. The couple behind me were also supposed to be on the flight we scrambling to find something workable. I had already been re-booked on a flight which would get me to my destination at 11:47 PM Mountain time. My original arrival time was 11 AM Mountain time. Sigh... ten hours in the Toronto airport.  Eventually this wait time was reduced to eight hours. How to use the time? 
​

This image is interesting to me for a couple of reasons... First, it was taken summer of 2006 or 07, and I was going through a separation and in a lot of sadness and anxiety. Second, I definitely didn't believe anything would work out. I was feeling pretty hopeless about having a better body, my marriage, scared of raising my kiddo alone, scared of taking care of me alone. 

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Happy to report fifteen years later that raising my son alone did work out. My body has always been something I have been dissatisfied with, regardless of strength, age, and size. My marriage ended, but I became a very different person because of that... in a good way I think.  

I did get to reschedule on a different route arriving three hours earlier. But more importantly, I have had time today to just sit and type. Just sit and ponder this comment made in a corridor. I spend a great deal of energy trying to control my world. I try to:

• Be the weight I think is the right weight for me
• Have the right shape I believe is the right shape for me
• Respond to my son's career choices in the way that is right for him, but also for me
• Be younger than the years I have trespassed
• Be stronger than the commitment I make to strength training
• Have a newer house and not pay more for housing or give up my view
• Get people to do what I want them to do.... ouch! 😣 
• Have more free time and yet make more money

And the list goes on. 
What happens when I resist the reality that I experience? I feel frustrated, anxious or angry, annoyed. Basically fairly despondent when it becomes too much. 
What if I tried on this idea that everything will work out, whatever happens. I'll get to my destination, not at the time I wanted, but eventually. Even if I don't, perhaps I will still be able to be positive if I stay open to whatever outcome arises. ​

I sure hope the gentleman in the corridor is right. "It will all be okay, whatever happens."
I would add, I truly believe that this will only be true if I choose to look for what is okay, whatever happens.