Lost Identification

I am a mother, a sister, a divorcee, a writer, an educator, a fitness and wellness enthusiast, a Yogini.... and the list can go on. We identify with these labels and carry the hats around proudly, or sometimes less proudly. It is how we explain ourselves and our viewpoints to other people. These labels give us a perspective of what we should and should not do and how we should or should not think.

These labels can be the root of great suffering when we do not live up to the expectations that come with them. Am I still a climber when I stop climbing every week and no longer hang out with climbers? Where is the line or parameters of the definition?
And when we are no longer a particular label, there can be great upset. Who are we? It's one thing if we just moved to a new label - I am single to I am married is generally a pretty happy transition, where the transition from I am strong and healthy to I am old and weaker is much harder change to make. 

Transition is like grieving. It cannot be done in a day and then put away and forgotten. Little things that spark a memory which in turns reminds what is lost, happen throughout the days, weeks and years which follow. There are the stages of grief to navigate and the navigation is not very straightforward. The idea of one step forward, a few steps back comes to mind. 

Exhibited in these stages are the thoughts and emotions one may experience in a life transition; the loss of a job or a partner. Denial of the loss if it is something not wanted, which sparks anger. There is a loss rooted in pride. "How dare they fire me when I am such a great worker." 

This may be followed by fear of the future. "What will I do without....?" Leading to bargaining for something to hang onto from the past. "If I had a second chance... It wasn't my fault."

Inevitably the thoughts lean into the sense there is no hope of going backwards. Recognition that a return to how things were can never happen. Things move forward and the pain of the experience must be acknowledged. Dark thoughts about the hopelessness of a life without pain meander through the mind and shape a negative perspective of the world. 

Hanging in and finding the rights supports can lead to acceptance. Light shines in through the cracks and we smile at something good that happens, laugh with a friend or two and recognize it is not the end of the world. Good can still exist. 

Hope for a better future greats a door for acceptance to walk through. Hope we will have a future and perhaps the faith we can navigate the pains of that future with grace keep us going. Seeing the blessings in all that follows is essential every day.