Restlessness: A Stress Response

The Body Keeps Score is a great work by Bessel van der Kolk about how the body holds trauma and our behaviours are the expression of that trauma. Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing experience. The loss of a family member or a pet can be deeply distressing, parents divorcing can be deeply distressing for some and a relief for someone else.

My grandfather passed away when I was in elementary school. I was young enough that I did not go to the funeral. I did not cry when I learned of the death, but I was sent to the Principal's office a few days later because I was arguing with the religion teacher about God. I blamed God for taking him away. Anger was how my body needed to respond to the trauma of death of someone I loved. 

We have all experienced trauma to some degree. When the nervous system is stressed, it activated the fight, flight, freeze, fawn response. What this means in the body is a cascade of hormones and redirection of blood flow to enable self protection. The part of the brain called the amygdala wants to keep you alive and it will do whatever it takes to ensure the body keeps working. Restlessness is an expression of the action of fight or flight.

Photo by jean wimmerlin on Unsplash

The questions is... what is the real danger?
When going through a job change or divorce, the change is real and it can be stressful. However, the physical body is not in harms way in most situations. The mind generally does not stop to think or consider this. As a result, the body goes into fight, flight, freeze or fawn response mode. 

Even doing something as challenging as changing our routines and our behaviours to meet our 2025 resolutions can cause a little reaction from the nervous system. It feels uncomfortable to adjust to a new routine. It feels off. And that alone will cause some degree of response. Add to that any criticism you may pile upon yourself for missing a day or making a mistake. That self criticism also creates a response - you may defend (fight), become restless to avoid or flee, perhaps freeze is your go to and this paralyzes decisions about whether to try to continue or how to respond. Fawn is a typical response where one tries to bridge a connection, gain a protector. Calling a friend or making others pleased with you is a fawn response. 

The body likes homeostasis - a state of balance. Out of balance is when the system becomes active. When the sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, freeze, fawn response) stays active for an extended period of time, it can have lasting effects on the health of the body. High blood pressure, skin issues, weight gain, high blood pressure for example. Worst still, over active sympathetic nervous system response can lead an anxious person into depression. 

The world has always been full of uncertainty, but now we have access to the images, videos, news constantly reminding us of uncertainty and fragility. People are more and more on edge as a result. On edge means they are out of homeostasis with an active sympathetic nervous system. 

There are numerous things that can be done to reduce the physical experience of stress. 

• Relax - take a hot bath, get a massage, walk in nature, walk, smile
• Exercise - get the body moving and pay attention to the movement - mindful movement
• Breathe - the breath with emphasis on the exhale is one way to regulate the nervous system response
• Love - hold an infant, pet your pet, connect with someone you love
• Meditate and/or Yoga Nidra - practice mindfulness and sit with a focus on releasing stress in the body

Try it and see what you think.